COURIER IN THE BIRD MASK

TRIGGER WARNINGS child death, suicide, abuse, plague, sickness, breakdowns, first person, spouse death, starvation

Day Four

Today. A small child came to me, asking to read her the note in her hand. I read it. I read it to her and then gave her to the council. Another orphan.

To my daughter. 

In my memories, I dance with the pidgeons and the murder of crows. 

They sing in their roundabout language of love and generosity and life beyond this.

I want that again. I want to dance with lady death herself, a gentle dance. Macabre as she holds me.

In my memories, we laugh and smile and it’s better with death.

In my future, I see myself, dead, in a grave. If I see her again, it is with my hands. 

In my future, I only see rivers of blood, feather and paper falling from the tinted red sky.

Purple prose, I write as my final words.

Hilarious. 

Ana.

-

And- today… a girl asked me to write her final words to her parents. I don’t know what to put here… clad in the Executor’s bird mask, I stand above their beds and write their final words with stoic apathy, tears hidden behind that mask of mine.

-

Mother, Father—

A tragedy, I have to admit. To tell you this is where I die, this small backwater town— the town on Gorkhon is my grave. The Jury and Executioner to my heart. A deadly plague consumes my body with her vivacious hands and gentle soothing kisses of feverish delusions. 

Mother, father. I'm going to die here. I'm going to die and I can't stop it. Everytime I think I'll get better, it gets worse. It's been two days and I've been told I'm lucky to last even one. Mother, Father, do you understand what I'm saying? I'm dead, I took a train to my deathbed all those weeks ago and now I'm going to die without ever saying true goodbyes. I wish I never came here, this dammed hellish town. People are on the streets covered in rags begging for anyone to fucking help them and the doctors are trying to make a cure but I can't help but wait until it rains acid and this town will be destroyed. Until then, this is goodbye. Goodbye, Mother and Father.