COURIER IN THE BIRD MASK

TRIGGER WARNINGS child death, suicide, abuse, plague, sickness, breakdowns, first person, spouse death, starvation

Day Six

The inquisitor arrived today. Aglaya Lilich. She is killing us. Hanging us.

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Im not sorry. I'm not sorry for stealing for you, I'm not sorry for anything besides the fact I have to leave you. I will be dead tomorrow, the Inquisitor will ultimately kill me without hesitation, I can't leave without telling you goodbye.

Anzha, Helika, my true love. At first, I thought I was unable to feel love. At first, I felt nothing but detest when I saw you. Thought you were annoying when I first met you. I wanted a rich wife, someone to feed me and house me. And then you told me something I'd never forget. "I think you're an asshole." That broke me.

I am an asshole, I was an asshole. And you told me outright, none of the lies people tell me non-stop. When you told me that, I laughed. I laughed so hard and then you started to laugh.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm leaving you, but I'm not sorry for why. Helika, my only love. I have one thing to ask you before I die, its my only regret. I already know your answer.

Will you marry me?

ILDAR

-

To Vlad's family,

My name is Robert. I am a father of three and a fellow survivor of the Sand Pest- until today.

On the third day of the outbreak, I stood in what was a dark alleyway. On the third day or the outbreak, there was nothing but desperation. On the third day there was nothing but agony and starvation. On the third day, there was nothing but unending guilt eating me alive as the tendrils dragged me to hell. A bullet to your father's head, a deadly invitation to hell, and I took it. The dread building in the pits of my stomach was all I fed off of as I stole that piece of bread for your father. I found out from asking around where his family was and it led me to you. Enclosed is 100,000 coins— I know it won't replace what I've done. I hope you know the guilt is killing me, I'm dying from the Sand Pest and I can't help but want it to. His life is gone, his family is mourning and I caused all that agony.

It's insane. One pull of a trigger and I can change a family's life forever. Why can't I control when I die but I can control when someone else does?! I feel sick, I feel horrible and awful and nothing but sorrow in my stomach and agony in my brain. I haven't stopped thinking of his face, of his face twisting in agony as blood pooled underneath me. I took the bread, a single loaf, and watched as he bled out.

I can't die without apologising.

I'm sorry 

Robert.